Chaos theory – me getting flu in Bangalore makes a girl tell the truth in Trivandrum

June 12, 2009 at 13:00 | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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I have been down with the flu this week, unable to enjoy the whole “not having to go to work”, while coughing my lungs inside out.

I am irritated.

And while I have been lying sick in bed, someone ripped off my disclaimer (scroll right up this blog if you have been too blind to have not seen it till now), did a very very slight modification and used it for his own blog.

No reference, no thank you whatsoever.

Grrr…..

I should’ve forseen that I was going to be famous, and got my blog copyrighted right in the beginning.

Damn you, premonition-super-power! You are never there when I need you!

I am annoyed.

And its not over, a guy I know who was recently engaged to a girl in the old fashioned (arranged) way just found out that the girl actually likes someone else, but her parents forced her to get engaged to him, against her will!

As much as I am grateful to her admitting the truth before it was too late, I just cant help wondering as to why do parents do this to their own kids? Why do parents try to cheat the very person who is supposed to live with their child later in life (till like forever)? Save your face, but sentence your kid (and his/her spouse) to a life of unhappiness?

I am appalled.

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Does anybody know how to transfigure annoying people into manure? (Part 2)

June 8, 2009 at 11:35 | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments
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(Continued from previous post)

I get into an auto, super sleepy from having woken up early in the morning to get off the train, and then waiting at the station till its safe to get out, bitten to death by mosquitoes that are possibly carrying dengue or malaria. Obviously I am not in the best of my moods. But the auto guy whose auto I got into was extremely chatty to the point of being an asshole.

(Note how hard I try to be civil by replying in monosyllables, instead of breaking his medula oblongata with my lethal karate chops)

Auto-dude: “So, where are you from?”
Me (fighting to stay awake): “Bangalore”
Auto-dude: “You studying?”
Me (wishing I’d actually studied to become a professional killer): “No”
Auto-dude: “Your home is here?”
Me (cursing myself for not having the power to teleport away): “No”
Auto-dude: “Oh, then why are you here?”
Me (cursing God for giving him the power of speech): “Work”
Auto-dude: “Oh, you’ve come here looking for work!”
Me (too pissed to care): “Yeah”
Auto-dude: “Why don’t you give me your cell number so that I can call you if I find some job you can do?”
Me (what the fuck?!!!): “Stop the auto, I’ll get down here”

The End.

Does anybody know how to transfigure annoying people into manure? (Part 1)

June 6, 2009 at 08:49 | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments
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Its been long, I know.

What can I say, I’ve been way too busy with other stuff to be able to devote time to blogging. Anyway, now that I’m back (not sure for how long), lets not waste any more time, and get back to the business of talking about random crap that doesn’t really matter to anybody.

But before I start –
I’ve noticed that many of you seem to be dwelling under the impression that Arjun over at One Side of a Sandwich is my boyfriend. Well, he’s not. Arjun is an old classmate and a friend since the stone ages, as he’d probably like to point out!

Moving on, I think you will agree with me when I say I just don’t understand why those random ANNOYING (and sometimes nosey) people you meet for a few minutes in your life would actually believe that they’re fun people to talk to, and in fact that we’re fulfilling our life’s purpose while talking to them!!

(They must be crazy to think they can even get close to becoming the most-fun-person-in-the-world that I am!)

There is that random somebody’s uncle you meet at the wedding who brags to anyone and everyone about his so-called multi-talented daughter who will be the one to cure cancer in the future, while dancing on one leg and studying law.

Then there is that passenger next to you on the train who is just not shutting up, when all you want to do is stare at the ceiling for hours, because it seems more fascinating at the moment.

And then there are those Romeos you meet in college, to whom you say “I am going to gouge my eyes out right now, for having ever seen you” and they think you are playing hard to get.

And then there is also what happened last week.

(To be continued)

Fake people annoy me

March 13, 2009 at 12:59 | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
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So what is it with fat people wearing sports brands?
I mean, isn’t it kind of obvious that they are definitely not into any form of sports or even normal exercises for that matter?
Or do they think that wearing the sports branded clothing will magically hide the layers of fat?
It doesn’t. Trust me. And if your friend told you it does, that’s cos she secretly hates you.
No no, don’t tell me you have been going to gym regularly, because you are still fat. I don’t believe you. And its not like there is a dearth of non-sports brands, you know. Go splurge on them.
So here’s what you got to do now – take off those sports brands, donate them to charity or hang them up on your bedroom walls in memory of your thinner days if you want to, but please, stop wearing them.

Another category of people that I want to address to are the ones that go about in their cars, playing their music loudly.
No, not those who are just enjoying their daily dose of music.
I am talking of the ones who (in a desperate attempt to look like a rock lover) increase the speakers’ bass to maximum and closes the car windows, so that all one hears from outside is the loud dum dummm… of the bass, but what they’re actually listening to inside is hip-hop music.
Seriously, what is your problem?
You are insulting both rock lovers and hip-hop lovers all over the world.
Be true to the music you actually love.

And remember, you are not fooling anyone.

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