Brad Pitt and I share a special bond

April 17, 2009 at 12:51 | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Today, its my turn to guest post for Arjun. A tiny form of appreciation for the awesome guest post he wrote for Sloppy Chronicles. Go check them both out, even if you got better things to do in life.

Apples, Traffic Signals, and the Male Species

April 9, 2009 at 13:12 | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
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Sri’s decided that she’d give her imaginative muscles a break, and get me to do the thinking and writing. My sincere apologies for delay; this guest post was supposed to come on last week. My name is Arjun, and I feel privileged and honored to be a guest blogger here. The Sloppy Chronicles is gaining a good bunch of readers and why shouldn’t it? The author’s ability to exaggerate mundane acts like getting into the wrong bus or playing down relatively serious events is not very common, and I want to recognize that here. As someone suggested, “It feels like a female Chetan Bhagat.” Yep, it does Sri.

You know how we have these T-shirts during college fests, right? Like much of rock music, these T-shirts are designed by guys and girls under a heavy influence of marijuana. The guys designing the T-shirts are so obsessed with belting out that perfectly-uber-cool-design-that-makes-everyone-go-Wow! that it ends up being mediocre to stupid in most cases. The catch lines, the images, the layout: kids who are hooked on to How I met your mother think that they can outdo the designers at Tantra, or equal the class of Benetton.

In my engineering school I had seen some really bad T-shirts come out during the fests. The colours were all wrong and the material was rag like. Worse still, the price was way too much (the secretaries always felt like the margins from T-shirt sales could fund 3 nights of liquor). But all that never bothered me as much as the graphics on the shirt. In my first November cul fest in college, the catch line on the T-shirt said “NIT-H rocks and … (with an underline).” This corny line was supposed to imply that NIT-H (the name of the college) rocked and that was the bottom-line, WWE style. The humour that came through was dry-to-slapstick at best and never really amounted to much pride for the wearer. We bought them because the shirt had the name of the college displayed on it, and we hoped that people would notice it in trains during the vacation journeys and think highly of us. As the years rolled, the designs kept getting more ridiculous and dumb.

And then, when I became one of the 6 secretaries of the fest I thought exactly what my predecessors had thought: My team will give the best T-shirt this college has ever seen and will ever see. In our team meetings, we discussed as to how people would love our shirts and would go days on end without ever taking it off. Our T-shirt was to be designed around one central idea – if somebody walked into a store and saw this fest t-shirt displayed, they would pick it up because it was attractive. Easier to say than to do!

There were 5 guys and 1 girl in the group of secretaries, and like with all student secretaries, nobody liked us. But we come up with this design:

The front of the T-shirt had on the chest area three little boxes in a row. The first box was red in colour with the image of a white apple in it. The second box (the middle one) was orange with an image of an apple bitten off from the top right. The third box was green in colour with a picture of an apple eaten fully and the stem remaining. So here you have three boxes red, orange and green signifying the traffic lights each showing an apple being eaten at different stages. Below the boxes was the catch line: “BYTE THIS”.

We loved the idea. The picture was abstract with traffic lights and an apple. Somehow the line Byte this sounded techie and also meant bite the apple. But there was one problem. The girl secretary in our team didn’t think this idea was so cool.

“Why, what’s wrong with this?”, I asked.

“Byte this? Arjun, the girls are going to wear this shirt and on their chest it says byte this!” said the girl.

We never spoke another word about that design.

This is why we still have women around on this earth: to save the male species from self destruction.

What’s with all the blogging?

April 6, 2009 at 12:17 | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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So a lot of people have been asking me lately, “what’s with all the blogging?”.

Sources tell me that blogging is actually the master plan of Bin Laden to keep sure that all the clever minds (me! me!) is kept occupied writing random crap on the internet to be read by other clever minds (you! you!). And while we are busy being clever, he cleverly takes over the world and rules us all.

Anyway, whether the rumour is true or not, I do definitely know for sure that blogs can save lives (only mild exaggeration)!

Yep!

As you know, I used to religiously read others blogs last year to pass my time in my old job (I used to finish my work faster than they could give me, so I had a lot of free time then). Anyway, when I realised that corporate life is not as exciting as I hoped it would be (don’t get me wrong, pay day is the best day), I thought maybe I should study some more (better degree=>better pay=>better pay days). Am I clever or what?

Long story short, I had to write the IELTS exam in order to apply to the universities abroad, to show them that I am proficient enough in English.

For those of you who don’t know, this exam has 4 sections – listening, reading, writing and speaking. Now in the speaking round, the interviewer generally asks you random questions to answer, and then gives you a topic, on which you have to speak for a minute.

The topic I got was “an interesting TV show that I saw recently”. Now I rarely watch TV, and when I do, its just for mindless gossip on celebrities, latest movies and songs, before I get bored of that as well, and turn it off. So when my interviewer asked me to talk about this particular topic, my mind went totally blank. I just couldn’t remember the last time I saw TV, let alone anything interesting on it. And it would seem totally chicken-ish (and probably negative marks), if I told the interviewer that I don’t see TV.

It was then that I suddenly, miraculously remembered this post by Chris (click away, its hilarious stuff). So I just narrated that post how I remembered it, to the interviewer. She bought my blabber and I passed! Woohoo!

Now thanks to reading that particular post, I have managed to get admissions in Universities. Thanks to reading that particular post, my future is safe(r) now. So it is only fair to humanity that I too start blogging, for you never know how my blog, maybe this particular post infact, saves you from a psychopath serial killer tomorrow.

Or not.

PS: Tomorrow, my good friend Arjun will be guest posting here, as I have a holiday, and I strictly don’t blog on holidays.

It happens only in India (and Venezuela)!

April 2, 2009 at 01:58 | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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So when I read this really funny post on Indian soaps (click!) the other day written by my friend, it reminded me of a particular Hindi serial that came on TV during my college years. The criticism of Indian soaps have been going on for quite a while now, so you may wonder what this post is all about?

For starters, it is not on Ekta Kapoor.

Secondly, this particular serial is a remake of a Venezuelan “telenovela”, as I found out from wikipedia, so we can’t blame really Indians for making this plot.

Anyway, here is the plot:

“Anu Sachdev is determined to fulfill her dreams of studying journalism from a prestigious university abroad, but she doesn’t know that the fate has already decided to change the course of her life. Anu is accidentally impregnated with a IVF sample by a gynaecologist she visits to have a routine checkup. A nurse had mixed up her file with another woman’s file. Anu doesn’t know she is pregnant and continues with her life.”

So when our day scholar classmate who saw the pilot episode narrates the plot to the rest of us boarders, we were speechless at the absurdity of the plot!

  • I mean, which unmarried+teenage+Indian girl goes for routine check ups with the gynaecologist? What was she expecting to find?!!
  • And if its for a routine check up, won’t she be aware of how its done usually, and so shouldn’t she notice that the doctor is doing something different, for example, injecting something suspicious into her, this time?
  • Ignoring the one-in-a-million odds of her getting pregnant from it, how long is it going to take her to realise that she is pregnant? A zillion episodes??
  • And once she does, why on earth isn’t she aborting the baby and ending the miserable series once and for all?

I don’t understand the human mind at all.

PS: The reason why the post is named so, is because soon after we overcame the speechless stage, our friend from Bhutan immediately started singing the famous movie song “It happens only in India“. But as I found out only recently, the plot is of Venezuelan origin

A month of blogging!

March 31, 2009 at 13:53 | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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Even though I have only 10 posts this month instead of 20, thanks to my vacation and Edward Cullen (sigh!), I have actually completed a month!

Woohoo!!

(Yes, I consider it a big achievement)

So I guess this would be an apt time for another round of dedications.

I dedicate this post to:

• All those who read my blog, without whom, there isn’t really a point to web-logging
• Especially all those who commented on the posts (you are awesome)
Tia, Arjun and Chris. It would be wrong if I didn’t say their blogs (go read them!) were an influence and inspiration for me to start blogging
• The company I used to work in last year, which was so pathetically pathetic that I spent my days/months exploring the world of blogs and eating mad angles (which is irrelevant here, but quite tasty)
Moo (who’s blunders could fill books) and the countless others who keep the world of humor alive, and lastly,
• Jun, for everything.

Now moving on to the actual contents of the post, I am inserting another story of Moo, which (I must forewarn) is not as funny as the “come come” story (as we call it). Owing to a hectic work schedule today, I am not in a position to post something more entertaining.

We (Moo, other friends, me) started our journey to Dharamshala. Moo’s Hindi is worse than mine. This is what happened (translated to English) –

Moo: I had kept a couple of apples in my room last night. I thought we can have them today in the cab. But when I woke up, they were already half eaten by a tortoise (!!!).

We were baffled for a nano-second at the thought that there was a wild tortoise in his room, stealing apples in the dark. Then we laughed our a*ses off at Moo’s stupidity (we always look for reasons to laugh at his expense, actually). Moo had meant to say chooha (rat), but instead ended up saying khachhua (tortoise).

Edward Cullen makes me happy

March 12, 2009 at 10:53 | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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So the reason why I have not had any new posts recently was because I was too busy reading all the 4 books in the Twilight Series (by Stephanie Meyer), followed by the movie Twilight.

And
OH
MY
GOD
!!!

I had no idea that the series and Robert Pattinson would turn out to be so AMAZING!!!

Thank you Tia, for you’re the reason why I decided to try reading the series.
Now I understand what you meant when you wished your Hubs was a vampire.
Now I realize why you named all the fish as Edward.
Now I get it why you keep talking about Edward Cullen on your blog, again and again and again.
Now I know why I am having this super urge to keep thinking and talking about Edward Cullen.

And from now on, Stephenie Meyer comes under my list of awesome people.

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