Nederlands

September 8, 2009 at 23:04 | Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments
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Okay, so a lot of people have been wondering what I have been up to ever since I got to the Netherlands.

Did you go to the “coffee shops”?

Are the women hot?

How is the beer?

Did you go to the “coffee shops”?

Did you fall into a canal?

Did you go to the “coffee shops”?

The questions are numerous.

Anyway, it looks like I have to post something about this place, but before that, I must must must show you my new (second hand) bike, because having bought it means that I am actually smart, and justifies any of the stupid things I (might) do in the future.

Puch Mustang

Puch Mustang

Now that we have all drooled over my baby, lets find out some of the stuff I learnt ever since I got here.

1. People just DO NOT get my name. I now have a wide variety of names including Sri, Siridevi, Sleedevi, Devi (pronounced like Debbie).

[And a lot more people who just smile cos they cannot remember it]

2. The Dutch, the Portuguese, the Italians (I am yet to discover which other countries as well) all kiss (a different number of times) when they greet you.

3. The Dutch are the tallest people in the world.

[I point blank refuse to comment on point 3]

4. Beer is cheaper than water.

[But that would also be because you can drink water directly from the taps, so buying a bottle of water is kind of pointless]

I think that should be enough trivia for now. So until someone does something stupid (including me falling into a canal), see you!

Butt of joke girls (Part 2)

September 7, 2009 at 16:10 | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments
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It was back in the first year of Engineering. The caller tunes craze time. For those of you who don’t know, it was the time almost all the mobile companies in India started allowing us to subscribe for any song that we like, so that those who call us would hear the song being played instead of the usual “trin-trin”. We were all victims to the caller tune mania, with people who changed their caller tune every day, to people like me who tried it just once.

(What’s the fun if you cannot hear the caller tune yourself? It is your favourite song after all!)

[Scene: Hostel Mess]

Enter Butt-of-joke-girl-2.

Butt-of-joke-girl-2: “Hey guys, listen to my new caller tune, it is a really cool song!”

So one of us calls her phone, and turns on the loud speaker, and we could hear “In your head….In your head….” playing from the song Zombie by The Cranberries.

Hailing from very studious and very “Indian” backgrounds, pretty much all the girls in my batch had not heard this song before. Now I had happened to hear it cos of a friend who gave a collection of her favourite songs to a friend who then gave it to me, had this song in it.

So it was really surprising to us that Butt-of-joke-girl-2 knew this song. And since we had nothing better to do, we decided to have some fun at her expense.

A-friend: “Hey Butt-of-joke-girl-2, that sounds like a great song, what is its title?”

Butt-of-joke-girl-2 (not expecting anyone to know the song just like herself): “Oh, its an English song”

(Like that was sufficient information)

Same-friend: “Yeah, we get that. What is it called?”

(Butt-of-joke-girl-2 is not sure now how to proceed as she had never found out anything more about the song herself, and so hadn’t expected any one else to ask her anything more about it either)

Butt-of-joke-girl-2: “Actually, its not just English, its got many other languages in it as well”

(What the fuck??!!!)

Same-friend (struggling to keep as straight face as were the rest of us): “Oookay, so what is it called, you know, like a name?”

Butt-of-joke-girl-2 (sweating profusely): “The song….yes….er…..its called ‘Eee-yaa-aae’.”

She runs out of the mess as we all burst out laughing!

[For those of you who might have not caught on, “In your head” can sound like “eee yaa aae” if you try thinking/listening to the song from Butt-of-joke-girl-2’s point of view. Of course, expecting others to believe it……..]

Butt of joke girls (Part 1)

September 5, 2009 at 15:40 | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments
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That was a crazy last two months!

Lets see (chronologically),

1. I quit my job at IISc, though I still haven’t finished my report work (but I will soon),

2. I have traveled to almost all states in the southern region of India to get my visa and birth certificate legalized (India is too big for comfort),

3. Sassy the cat (thats what we named it anyway) came to our house to escape from stray dogs and no owner turned up to claim him,

Sassy the cat

Sassy the cat on Jun's couch

4. My grandad passed away,

5. I’m finally in the Netherlands.

But none of that means that I can ever stop making fun of all the ridiculous things in life.

But this time, thankfully, I am not the butt of the jokes.

Scene 1: Volvo bus from Bangalore airport to my home

Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is sitting next to me. She gets a phone call from some friend, to whom she mercilessly talks about how stupid “she” was (this she is some other girl we do not know about). Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is talking pretty loudly, repeating over and over about “how could she be so stupid” and “that was so stupid of her” and “oh god, she is soooooooo stupid”.

Anyway, the bus conductor has come to collect the journey fare, since she is on phone, he is giving tickets to the rest of us near by. But “clever”-girl aka butt-of-joke-girl-1 doesn’t like being ignored, whether she’s on the phone or not, so she tells her friend to hold on, and then calls the conductor.

Butt-of-joke-girl-1: “Excuse me….hallo….how much?”
(Bus conductor looks at her blankly)
Butt-of-joke-girl-1: “I said how much?”
Bus-conductor: “What?”
(Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is exasperated at the stupidity of “all” the people around her)
Butt-of-joke-girl-1 (now gesturing with her hands to help the “stupid” conductor dude understand): “HOW MUCH?”
Bus-conductor (now irritated): “You have not told me yet where you want to get off, how do you expect me to tell you how much you have to pay??!!”
Butt-of-joke-girl-1 becomes the butt of the joke.

Butt-of-joke-girl-2 story is funnier, I think I will post it tomorrow!

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