The truth behind Pentagon
January 15, 2010 at 21:07 | In Uncategorized | 6 CommentsTags: language problems, making fun of people is fun, travelling tips
Remember how at the end of the Iron Man movie, Rob Downey Jr reveals to the world that he is infact the Iron Man?
-
- Sigh!
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- I like superheroes without super powers
Well, Pentagon has decided to accept world fame by revealing her name in my blog (which is passionately followed across the globe).
Or rather, after reading my fascinating post about her fateful night at the airport and seeing how pretty much all my readers were baffled in the end, she has given the green signal on revealing her name.
But before I do that, here is what she had to say about it (you can also read this under comments in my previous post):
ok fine! use the name…n what exaggeration! btw…its ‘mindjyourgap’ with accent
n was scary :S
Now, why I used mind THE gap instead of mind YOUR gap was because well, what on earth can they mean by minding YOUR gap?? And then of course, the focus of the post would be shifted from “laughing at Pentagon” to “wondering which gap did they mean”.
Anyway, now that we have it cleared, lets get back to what happened to Pentagon. You see, in her air ticket, her name was given as “Pentagon, Mindjyour Gap” where:
Pentagon is her last name,
Mindjyour is her first name, and
Gap is the first part of her middle name, which was all they could print on the air ticket.
Yes, everyone, meet “Manju Cat”herine Pentagon.
[For your own safety, her last name shall not be revealed]
An embarrassment a day keeps the doctor away
December 30, 2009 at 19:20 | In Uncategorized | 5 CommentsTags: language problems, making fun of people is fun, travelling tips
All of us go through embarrassing events once in a while….The magnitude of embarrassment might vary, but yes, it happens to us all. Now my friend Pentagon, from one of Dolphy’s previous posts, had another minor misfortune this month. She has requested me to not use her real name (while being kind enough to let me blog about it), which is kinda unfortunate ‘cos the joke is directly connected to her name. Still, I would like to give it a shot.
So she was at the Schipol airport (Amsterdam) recently, dying to go home, around the time it started snowing here to the extent that all public transportation had pretty much come to a standstill. She had just checked in her bags, and was restlessly pacing up and down the terminal, wondering if she will be able to get home without anymore hassles (like her flight getting canceled, which can be quite the bummer), when she hears the announcement asking passengers of her flight to go wait near gate X. She thanks her lucky stars, and walks to the escalator that will take her to gate X, when she suddenly hears someone announcing her name.
“Pentagon!”
“Pentagon!”
“Pentagon!”
Over and over again.
(Okay, its obviously not Pentagon, but lets pretend that it is)
Pentagon starts getting worried. I mean, they are not telling her what the problem is, where she needs to go, but instead repeatedly calling her name in the last minute. Unsure (and almost on the verge of sheer panic) on how to proceed, she calls her cousin who lives in the same city, for counsel.
Clever cousin: “Just your name? Repeatedly? That’s odd”
Pentagon (hysterical now): “What do you think it means? I am so scared. What if there’s some problem with my luggage? What if only I cannot board the flight? What if I’m stuck here for ever?”
Clever cousin: “Calm down….when did you hear it first?”
Pentagon: “Sometime back…Why? Its not stopping at all….Do you think its a figment of my imagination? Oh! Oh! Do you think I look like a terrorist and they are going to detain me here indefinitely?”
Clever cousin (beginning to wonder if her cousin is actually going cuckoo): “No no, chill….You’re fine. Where were you when you heard the announcement first?”
Pentagon: “I was about to get onto the escalator”
Clever cousin (begins to laugh uncontrollably): “You moron, its not your name they were saying….Its the warning at the escalator – Mind The Gap!!!”
[NB: Pentagon's actual name sounds like MindThe Gap, especially in panicky situations]
Merry Christmas!
December 25, 2009 at 13:21 | In Uncategorized | 1 CommentTags: I will not tag this post
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Born with a smirk…
December 15, 2009 at 17:45 | In Uncategorized | 5 CommentsTags: caesarian babies are cool, dolphins are cooler than people too, my fav bloggers, pictures speak louder than words
Hello.
Now a lot of people were worried about my sanity when I had resurfaced as Dolphy the cool dolphin after two months of no blogging. Before you continue assuming the worst, here is why I did that:
Jun loves dolphins. He requested me to write about dolphins as a revival post for my blog. Now I can never say no to the man. And I did not know how else to write about them, without changing the genre of my blog too much.
Anyway, now that the temperatures have dropped below the freezing point, Dolphy has gone into deeper parts of the ocean, so I am forced to resume blogging myself.
Now many of you know that I am perpetually smirking. A lot of people have been pulling my leg over how I smirk when I’m happy, and I smirk when I’m sad, and I smirk when I am angry, and I smirk when I am bored, and well, I am probably smirking in the toilet as well, but we shall never know.
Anyway, here is something I found on an amusing blog that Megha introduced me to (thanks Megha!), and in the light of the forementioned reason, I must upload this pic here for all of you to see.
You know who else smirks all the time? Dolphins!
Hoomans are strange
November 27, 2009 at 03:35 | In Uncategorized | 5 CommentsTags: dolphins are cooler than people too, making fun of people is fun, pictures speak louder than words, sometimes I have nothing to write about
The dolphins have been studying humans for a long time now.
Humans - then and now (click for enlarged version)
Did you know that in some places, there are gangsters who kill fat people and sell their body fat to cosmetics companies?
Now, us dolphins are not really complicated. No selling or killing of fat dolphins. Cos we are having fun all the time, challenging our limits, be it alone or as a group. And so we invent various games for ourselves, cos games are always = fun.
However, some of the humans had different ideas, and this involved interior decorating men’s washrooms with mirrors, because male humans love mirrors.
So unfortunately for Sridevi’s friend Pentagon, thanks to the million mirrors in the mens’ loo in a mall somewhere on planet earth, she had a glimpse of her friend peeing, even though she was standing facing some other direction, far away from and outside the men’s loo. Or in the case of her friend Hexagon, he had the shock of his life when he saw women looking at him pee from the other side of the glass which was placed in the men’s loo, only later realising that it was a one-way mirror and the women on the other side were only looking at their own reflections!
Yeah, humans are really really strange.
Hold you flippers, this blog ain’t dead yet!
November 26, 2009 at 06:49 | In Uncategorized | 6 CommentsTags: dolphins are cooler than people too, videos speak louder than words
Hi. I am a Dolphin. I dont have a name yet, but that’s not the important thing right now. Maybe for now, we can call me Dolphy.
Sridevi has been too busy (hmmph….learning to play with a Yoyo she bought herself recently, if you really want to know) to blog since she came to the Dutchland, ignoring the many requests (and even threats to take her blog off from the list of bookmarks on the internet browser) to renew blogging. Now I didnt want a good blog to die just cos the main blogger is an idiot, so I offered to blog on her behalf, while she masters how to play with her new Yoyo.
Yoyo
Yo
oY
O O O O
Whoops, sorry! Kinda got carried away, playing with the word. That’s kind of a thing with us dolphins, we’re always busy inventing fun games that amuse and challenge us at the same time.
ALWAYS.
Thats why we’re so happy all the time!
In fact, here is an example of what my brother and sister dolphins are up to right now.
Now ain’t that cool!!
You know, I am like Sridevi in a lot of ways….We are both short (though some of my cousins are huge), we both love fish and, oh wait, thats pretty much it.
Anyway, unlike Sridevi, I have better vision and hearing (we can echo locate), and I am way way more social (she is just weird sometimes). Oh and I am more organised, because us dolphins are friggin intelligent(!!!), and well, I have made a list of things I am going to blog about, for the next few days. Some embarrassing stories on Sridevi that she’s been hiding from you and other stuff as well.
For instance, did you know that people here think that Sridevi is a boy’s name? Yes, in fact, one boy even called her Srideva (the brother of Prabhudeva). Nowadays, she is trying to teach people to call her Sri like in Sri Lanka. Kind of a late realization for her (us dolphins would have spotted it way long before), she could have avoided all the times she was called Debbie and Slreedevi and whatever else they call her.
Talking of Prabhudeva, did you know that the song Benny Lava on youtube is a bigtime hit on non-indian soil? AR Rahman won many Oscars, but the people enjoy Benny Lava much much more!
If you dont believe me, just check out this video!
It has 1,256,460 views and 5 star rating by 3678 users already!
What?
Oh! I have to go now. A game of flipperball using jellyfish awaits…. So until tomorrow, this is Dolphy wishing you “have a nice day”!!!
Nederlands
September 8, 2009 at 23:04 | In Uncategorized | 13 CommentsTags: I will not tag this post
Okay, so a lot of people have been wondering what I have been up to ever since I got to the Netherlands.
Did you go to the “coffee shops”?
Are the women hot?
How is the beer?
Did you go to the “coffee shops”?
Did you fall into a canal?
Did you go to the “coffee shops”?
The questions are numerous.
Anyway, it looks like I have to post something about this place, but before that, I must must must show you my new (second hand) bike, because having bought it means that I am actually smart, and justifies any of the stupid things I (might) do in the future.
Puch Mustang
Now that we have all drooled over my baby, lets find out some of the stuff I learnt ever since I got here.
1. People just DO NOT get my name. I now have a wide variety of names including Sri, Siridevi, Sleedevi, Devi (pronounced like Debbie).
[And a lot more people who just smile cos they cannot remember it]
2. The Dutch, the Portuguese, the Italians (I am yet to discover which other countries as well) all kiss (a different number of times) when they greet you.
3. The Dutch are the tallest people in the world.
[I point blank refuse to comment on point 3]
4. Beer is cheaper than water.
[But that would also be because you can drink water directly from the taps, so buying a bottle of water is kind of pointless]
I think that should be enough trivia for now. So until someone does something stupid (including me falling into a canal), see you!
Butt of joke girls (Part 2)
September 7, 2009 at 16:10 | In Uncategorized | 9 CommentsTags: making fun of people is fun
It was back in the first year of Engineering. The caller tunes craze time. For those of you who don’t know, it was the time almost all the mobile companies in India started allowing us to subscribe for any song that we like, so that those who call us would hear the song being played instead of the usual “trin-trin”. We were all victims to the caller tune mania, with people who changed their caller tune every day, to people like me who tried it just once.
(What’s the fun if you cannot hear the caller tune yourself? It is your favourite song after all!)
[Scene: Hostel Mess]
Enter Butt-of-joke-girl-2.
Butt-of-joke-girl-2: “Hey guys, listen to my new caller tune, it is a really cool song!”
So one of us calls her phone, and turns on the loud speaker, and we could hear “In your head….In your head….” playing from the song Zombie by The Cranberries.
Hailing from very studious and very “Indian” backgrounds, pretty much all the girls in my batch had not heard this song before. Now I had happened to hear it cos of a friend who gave a collection of her favourite songs to a friend who then gave it to me, had this song in it.
So it was really surprising to us that Butt-of-joke-girl-2 knew this song. And since we had nothing better to do, we decided to have some fun at her expense.
A-friend: “Hey Butt-of-joke-girl-2, that sounds like a great song, what is its title?”
Butt-of-joke-girl-2 (not expecting anyone to know the song just like herself): “Oh, its an English song”
(Like that was sufficient information)
Same-friend: “Yeah, we get that. What is it called?”
(Butt-of-joke-girl-2 is not sure now how to proceed as she had never found out anything more about the song herself, and so hadn’t expected any one else to ask her anything more about it either)
Butt-of-joke-girl-2: “Actually, its not just English, its got many other languages in it as well”
(What the fuck??!!!)
Same-friend (struggling to keep as straight face as were the rest of us): “Oookay, so what is it called, you know, like a name?”
Butt-of-joke-girl-2 (sweating profusely): “The song….yes….er…..its called ‘Eee-yaa-aae’.”
She runs out of the mess as we all burst out laughing!
[For those of you who might have not caught on, "In your head" can sound like "eee yaa aae" if you try thinking/listening to the song from Butt-of-joke-girl-2's point of view. Of course, expecting others to believe it........]
Butt of joke girls (Part 1)
September 5, 2009 at 15:40 | In Uncategorized | 10 CommentsTags: making fun of people is fun
That was a crazy last two months!
Lets see (chronologically),
1. I quit my job at IISc, though I still haven’t finished my report work (but I will soon),
2. I have traveled to almost all states in the southern region of India to get my visa and birth certificate legalized (India is too big for comfort),
3. Sassy the cat (thats what we named it anyway) came to our house to escape from stray dogs and no owner turned up to claim him,
Sassy the cat on Jun's couch
4. My grandad passed away,
5. I’m finally in the Netherlands.
But none of that means that I can ever stop making fun of all the ridiculous things in life.
But this time, thankfully, I am not the butt of the jokes.
Scene 1: Volvo bus from Bangalore airport to my home
Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is sitting next to me. She gets a phone call from some friend, to whom she mercilessly talks about how stupid “she” was (this she is some other girl we do not know about). Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is talking pretty loudly, repeating over and over about “how could she be so stupid” and “that was so stupid of her” and “oh god, she is soooooooo stupid”.
Anyway, the bus conductor has come to collect the journey fare, since she is on phone, he is giving tickets to the rest of us near by. But “clever”-girl aka butt-of-joke-girl-1 doesn’t like being ignored, whether she’s on the phone or not, so she tells her friend to hold on, and then calls the conductor.
Butt-of-joke-girl-1: “Excuse me….hallo….how much?”
(Bus conductor looks at her blankly)
Butt-of-joke-girl-1: “I said how much?”
Bus-conductor: “What?”
(Butt-of-joke-girl-1 is exasperated at the stupidity of “all” the people around her)
Butt-of-joke-girl-1 (now gesturing with her hands to help the “stupid” conductor dude understand): “HOW MUCH?”
Bus-conductor (now irritated): “You have not told me yet where you want to get off, how do you expect me to tell you how much you have to pay??!!”
Butt-of-joke-girl-1 becomes the butt of the joke.
Butt-of-joke-girl-2 story is funnier, I think I will post it tomorrow!
The only kind of pride that’s cool is a pride of lions
July 16, 2009 at 13:24 | In Uncategorized | 8 CommentsTags: making fun of people is fun, seven sins
Continuing talking about pride (previous post), there’s this girl I work with who is very vain, when it comes to her looks.
Don’t get me wrong, she is reasonably attractive, but the bad side effect is that she’d spend hours talking about herself to anyone and everyone, about all the times she looked hot and others were jealous and so on….
The other day, a few of us from work went to dinner, and I thought that for a change I should dress like a girl girl, and not a boy kinda girl.
(I have tomboyish issues)
Anyway, at the dinner, she tells me from across the table, that I am looking really good. Since I am a big moron when it comes to handling compliments, I semi-panic respond with a “thanks, you look good too”. To which she replies with a casual “oh, thats normal”.
(!!!??!!?)
Me before midnight!
I guess it means I must be like Cinderella, who’ll turn ugly when the clock strikes twelve, while she continues to be amazingly hot or whatever, and so it is more important that I get compliments for the night, and not she.
Me after midnight!
:-/ :-/ :-/
There is so much I am yet to learn about the girl world.
Sigh!
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